Booty Call Agreement

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the>("Agreement") is entered into as of the _____ day of__________, 2008, by>and>between ____________ and ____________.>>
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:>>1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO>REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING.>2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events>of the evening.>3. No calls before 9pm -- (we don't have shit to talk about)>4. None of that "lovemaking" shit -- strictly mind blowing-sex allowed.>5. No emotional discussions...(ex. Where are we heading with this?>Do you love me - Hell naw- so don't ask stupid shit.)>6. No plans made in advance ... that is why you are called the "backup">unless you are from out of town-then its only a one time advanced>arrangement.>7. All gifts excepted -- (money and diamonds are always good).>8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged).>9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (its really non of your>damn>business).>10. No kissing (too intimate except to other body parts -- no mouth>kissing-yuck).>11. No calling each other "friends with benefits"(we are not friends just>sex buddies).>12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -don't be offended.>13. No extra clothing (I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when>you leave.)>14. No falling asleep right after sex -- get your azz up and go home-its>over damn.>15. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it (I don't care).>16. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.>17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My>roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend.">18. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the hell>out).>19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.(don't want to>look at your azz -just want to fuck you)>20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes -ME (so don't keep>calling dammit).>21. The most important one -- no condoms-nofucking-carry your azz home.>22. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.>23. No phone use please -- don't want anyone calling>back looking for your azz.>>*
EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:>>The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the>agreement.>If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this>Agreement, this Agreement will automatically become null and void>and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and>deleted from phone memory and email list. BLOCKED from>all communications until your silly azz understand the rules.>>Participating Party Signature:>_______________________________________>Date:________________>>Participating Party>Signature_______________________________________>Date:________________